Some days it's real hard to get out of bed But on some days I get up to find myself alone Within my self-imposed quarantine My bed only traps so much heat so I should shower and make me clean This Trader Joe's face wash is great but it can't wash away insecurity Didn't take long for my whole world to spiral and even with all of this time I can't conjure a masterpiece, I can't discover gravity For now I'm in my personal hell and me and me just aren't meshing well which sucks Cuz at day's end I've gotta be okay with writing songs about isolation Writing songs about, writing songs about Writing songs about, writing songs about Being quarantined is hard, but come just as you are Roll your sleeves, show me your arms, I won't judge you for your scars I won't judge you for your, I won't judge you for your I won't judge you for your scars (Writing songs about isolating myself)

Conversation, misinformation, I just want to enjoy some relaxation But you keep begging and in my head don't wanna let you down I'm antisocial, you never no show, say staying locked in the house isn't good for ya Get off your chair and forget your cares we're getting out of town I'm stuck to you like static cling, and while I'd never shake you I want to tell you what I think, but if I did you wouldn't hear me now When are you gonna learn this ain't my cup of tea? I'd really like if you could stop dragging me to these things When are you gonna learn this ain't for everyone? Putting my health at risk just isn't my idea of fun When are you gonna learn that while you're feeling free It's feeling like these walls are slowly closing in on me? When are you gonna learn it's not just about you? If you can't get that through your thick skull you and me are screwed You brought me out here encircled by fear, I wish it would calm me down to know that you're near You try to assure me as I go through security everything's fine Realization, there's no consideration, all you care about's going on your vacation I want to get away, but my heart's making me stay no matter how hard I try I'm stuck to you like static cling, not strong enough to shake you I want to tell you what I think, but if I screamed you wouldn't hear my shouts When are you gonna learn this ain't my cup of tea? I'd really like if you could stop dragging me to these things When are you gonna learn this ain't for everyone? Putting my health at risk just isn't my idea of fun When are you gonna learn that while you're feeling free It's feeling like these walls are slowly closing in on me? When are you gonna learn it's not just about you? If you can't get that in your head humanity is through I'm balled up in the corner, can't find my happy place The world's a blur through my tears, don't wanna see your face I'm balled up in the corner, can't find my happy place The world's a blur through my tears, don't wanna see your face I'm balled up in the corner, can't find my happy place You're dead to me I don't need you, got to find my own strength I'm balled up in the corner, can't find my happy place I don't care what you're saying, I'm getting out this place When are you gonna learn this ain't my cup of tea? I'd really like if you could stop dragging me to these things When are you gonna learn this ain't for everyone? Putting my health at risk just isn't my idea of fun When are you gonna learn that while you're feeling free It's feeling like these walls are slowly closing in on me? When are you gonna learn it's not just about you? If you can't get that through your thick skull you and me are screwed If you can't get that in your head humanity is through Since you would rather everyone be dead I'm leaving you

There was a time when I could fly and my checked bags weren't the ones under my eyes When I wasn't racing against time to meet deadlines oo When I could see the world's beauty not how it's being destroyed by corporate greed When I wasn't living for the solace of my dreams oo I'm trying not to think cuz when I try to think, it's feeling like I'm sinking But when I don't think I'm missing everything, can't keep things straight My brain is burnt out Gotta work from home from 5 to 9 Got a mental breakdown scheduled for 10:25 There's no time to pray, there's no time to waste I'm walking wide-eyed but I'm never awake (Hey) Oh I don't care what the doctor said, I can die when I'm dead I'm scared that social distancing has been siphoning off my empathy I get your life sucks but you're not alone, what about me? Oo Business as usual? No thanks, at least not till you tell me how I'm getting paid Figure that out, I mean right now, my rent's due on the 8th I'm trying not to think cuz when I try to think, it's feeling like I'm sinking But when I don't think I'm missing everything, can't keep things straight My brain is burnt out Gotta work from home from 5 to 9 Got a mental breakdown scheduled for 10:25 There's no time to pray, there's no time to waste I'm walking wide-eyed but I'm never awake (Hey) Oh I don't care what the doctor said, I can die when I'm dead I can die when I'm dead I can die when I'm dead I can die when I'm dead Gotta work from home from 5 to 9 Got a mental breakdown scheduled for 10:25 There's no time to pray, there's no time to waste I'm walking wide-eyed but I'm never awake (Hey) Oh I don't care what you said, I can die when I'm dead (Oh) Day 12 since symptoms presented, it's too late for me I'm dead

I hate that there's doubt to couple with my fear That you're a mirage, not an oasis in the clear I don't know so I'll attempt to approach your space And hope that you don't turn me away Cuz the uncertainty's been getting to me lately and I need you I need you to tell me that we're good Maybe I've been lying to myself and saying we're alright Lord, I just need to hear you say we're cool And I need to feel it deep inside so no one's hate can hide the fact We're good Yeah we're good Say we're good Guess I'll try my best and still reach out to you Hope we can be friends, but I think that hurts too I'm not trying to cross your line but I'm inclined to believe the signs saying Radio silence means you're not into this so tell me what you're into cuz I need you I need you to tell me that we're good Maybe I've been lying to myself and saying we're alright Lord, I just need to hear you say we're cool And I need to feel it deep inside so no one can say otherwise We're good (Good) We're good (Good) We're good All I wanna do is care for you (Good) But I don't really know how to All I wanna be is there for you (Good) But it's so hard to break through My own insecurities, fears, and the voices that Tell me so clearly that all of my choices should Make me feel guilty my only intent though is Trying to be your son, your friend Don't wanna assume what you feel Need you to work with me here Cuz I can try and try and never get close to making things right so I I need you to tell me that we're good Maybe I've been lying to myself and saying we're alright Lord, I just need to hear you say we're cool And I need to feel it deep inside so no one's hate can hide the fact We're good Yeah we're good Say we're good

When we were done, it was such a drain Making you take up less space inside my brain But if you asked about me, I'd say I'm fine Cuz when there's work to do, there isn't time to cry There's so many things pulling at my attention Constantly living inside of the tension between What might be best for you and you and what might be best for me There's so many people who call me when their times are tough So what are they gonna do if I'm not strong enough Trying my best not to have a breakdown, can't really afford to do that right now Cuz if I start sobbing in front of a client I might not keep getting paid I'm trying my best not to have a breakdown, can't really afford to do that right now So I'll smile a shallow smile and if anyone asks say I'm okay I understand expressing emotions is important But next to the problems of the world they seem inconsequential Like I feel selfish when I get caught up in how I feel When walking past homeless folx who can't pay for their next meal Innocent people overseas die when conflict's igniting The struggle for justice we're tirelessly fighting Cuz how are we gonna tear this whole racist system down if my sanity's unwound There's so many people who need me to speak up on their behalf And their situations won't change if I can't keep it together Trying my best not to have a breakdown, can't really afford to do that right now Cuz if I start sobbing on the front lines the bad guys'll make fun of me I'm trying my best not to have a breakdown, can't really afford to do that right now So I'll smile a shallow smile and if anyone asks say I'm okay I can't stop thinking about you But I wanna stop thinking about you Cuz it hurts too much to think about you I don't wanna do the future without you But the future's still gon' come without you So I really need to think about you But there isn't time to think about you And there won't be if I don't make time now I don't wanna bawl my eyes out (don't make time now) What if they see me as weak now? (Don't make time now) Excuses feel like walls that are closing in on me So I'ma take a day (Or more) to feel whatever way so I can finally say It's okay to have myself a breakdown Cuz if I'm not taking care of myself I can't be the best me for someone else It's okay to have myself a breakdown Not repressing how I feel about you really hurts, but in time I'll be okay

To all my Black brothers and sisters and siblings out here trying to live your life Who know that when you look like us the world ain't always nice I'm thinking of you If they say that you're worth nothing, let me tell you that they're wrong If they say that you're not good enough, then listen to this song Shouldn't have to spend so many years oppressed and colonized But there's nothing more beautiful than living our Black lives If they say that you're worth nothing, let me tell you that they're wrong If they say that you're not good enough, then listen to this song We shouldn't have to spend so many years oppressed and colonized But there's nothing more important than saving your Black life Black Lives Matter, Black lives are beautiful Black Lives Matter, Black lives are beautiful Black Lives Matter, Black lives are beautiful Your life matters, your life is beautiful Black Lives Matter, Black lives are beautiful Black Lives Matter, Black lives are beautiful Black Lives Matter, Black lives are beautiful Your life matters, your life is beautiful Black Lives Matter, Black lives are beautiful

So I understand you messed up your hair with a nap, a hat, or hood out somewhere But I assure you, you don't need to be scared and get your gorgeous locks cut off at a fair Yeah I got a fix that'll have you in and out the door quick Your insurance will cover it, it ain't stitches and it ain't spending the night in a ditch Yeah you know that I be fixing up my hair Yeah you know that I be fixing up my hair Gonna show you how I'm fixing up my hair Yeah you know that I be fixing up my Fixing up my hair Step 1, fill a spray bottle with water Step 2, spray the water in your hair Step 3, rake your hair disperse the water Step 4, wet the pick before you run it through your hair Step 5, run the pick through your hair Step 6, shake your hair out everywhere And then pat it down and yes I have been rhyming hair and where a lot but I don't care So there Fixing up my hair Fixing up my hair Fixing up my hair Fixing up my Fixing up my, fixing up my, fixing up my hair My hair

Why do we suck Why's it so hard to remember All the parts of ourselves that we are Why are we stuck In funhouse mirrors where we look bizarre Why won't I turn off the lights When I know they're burning coal Why do I keep watching Friends If it doesn't make me whole Why can't I prioritize Why won't Bright Eyes turn around Why do I keep losing sleep Over things I can't control Why do we suck Why's it so hard to remember All the parts of ourselves that we are Why are we stuck In funhouse mirrors where we look bizarre Why did I decide to sail I didn't bring sunblock or shades Why am I afraid to fail No one cares, it's just charades Why's it easy to be jealous Why am I stressed all the time Why do our sentences keep trailing off Why do we Why do we suck Why's it so hard to remember All the parts of ourselves that we are Why are we stuck In funhouse mirrors where we look bizarre Why do we suck Why's it so hard to remember All the parts of ourselves that we are Why are we stuck Why do we suck I'm always late, I can't play bass Why do we suck I wanted bangs, they're in my face Why are we like this But it's okay, we're both this way And if you say, you think I'm great Then maybe I should give myself a break From asking myself why Why do we suck Why's it so hard to remember All the parts of ourselves that we are Why are we stuck In funhouse mirrors where we look bizarre Why do we suck Why's it so hard to remember All the parts of ourselves that we are Maybe I should give myself a break From asking myself why Why do we suck (Give myself a break) Why do we suck (From asking myself why) Why do we suck (Give ourselves a break) Why do we suck (From asking ourselves why) Why do we suck (Give yourself a break) Why do we suck (From asking yourself) Maybe I should give myself a break From asking myself why

If I need you, you would be there Wouldn't hurt me, make me happy If you were there, I'd be sincere Pour you a bowl of cereal Give you control of the remote so you can watch Netflix You drive me to the grocery store so I can buy some eggs We haven't met, but the you in my head would really love me If you are not the one who I thought I'd find it annoying if you think you're smarter than me If you're unkind, didn't clean your pots You'd hoard all your food and you'd hog the bathroom and Hide your feels from me cuz you think you're the main character I can't read your mind this wouldn't work if you don't put in work We haven't met, but the you in my head could really hurt me Oh You love me you hurt me, you love me you hurt me, you love me You hurt me you love me, you hurt me you love me, don't hurt me Are you nice are you queer? In the morning are you here? Will you love me Or laugh at my tears? Gain from my fears? Will you hurt me I don't know myself what I want from someone else Can you love me if affection condensed in a couple's context leaves us hurting We haven't met, but the you in my head could really If I need you and you were there It'd make all the stressing worthwhile If I need you and you're not there A hint of joy just ain't worth the trials There isn't one thing in the world that's scarier to me Is it worth the risk of hurt to have love temporarily We haven't met, at least not yet so I approach I catch your eyes, I'm like "hey my name is insert my name here" Your mouth opens and you say

All the strength in the world and I can't lift my mood Got foresight around every turn and I can see my doom When winter comes and it gets cold, you say you'll never leave Finished school so long ago but you're still testing me Hosanna in the highest shall bless those who abideth by faith Sometimes it's hard to focus on you especially when life keeps pulling in two directions I know I'm lost but sometimes I don't wanna be found It almost feels pointless trying to get up after falling down Know you try to talk to me but I'm still not sure what I'm listening for Feel like I don't know you at all though I've been riding with you since I was four I know you come in a small voice but I think I need more Something less intangible to quell doubts in my soul The way they use you to justify all of their hate just don't sit right If someone were to testify that you said I should leap, I don't think I'd be quite there Hosanna in the highest shall bless those with their mind set on Christ Don't always want to devote my time to know you especially When life keeps pulling in two directions I know I'm lost but sometimes I don't wanna be found Sometimes it feels pointless trying to get up after falling down Always take ten steps back whenever I consider moving forward I guess I'm still unsure what exactly you love me for Yo this ain't another gospel song to bump in your car It's just me before the Lord with all the pain in my heart Trying to jump over my hurdles, don't know which line is start Oh Though this ain't another gospel song, I'm down on my knees Cuz I don't feel you right next to me, my head's in the trees So if anybody's up there listening to my pleas Oh Just trust in me, you know I love you unconditionally Don't care about your past all that I see Is a child who should just rest in me Forget about your stress (Come rest in me) Forget about your pain (Give it to me) Forget about your fear (I've conquered it) And when the way's unclear, don't doubt, I'm here

I just wanna be, wanna be h-a-p-p-y with myself I just wanna be, wanna be h-a-p-p-y with myself I've been preaching love yourself since I was nine But it wasn't til the quarantine that I really had the time To sit in my room and sit with my thoughts and shift all the blame from all my baggage onto myself Nowadays I'm trying not to get so down Cuz if I can't forgive myself, it's that much harder to pass around I'll take a thirty minute shower, clip my nails, delete emails, and take a break from the fake news Cuz I don't always love myself, but I'm gonna put in the work and fake until I do cuz I just wanna be, wanna be h-a-p-p-y with myself I just wanna be, wanna be h-a-p-p-y with myself I just wanna be satisfied when I look at myself in the mirror Wanna be h-a-p-p-y cuz I love the me that I see No more staying up late at night sad cuz I'm alone in my bed Cuz I got me and that's fine, it's better than fine It's great cuz I'm happy, h-a-p-p-y So much of my time I spend pressed about things that I can't control Like I can't make you text back or check that DM or make you read things a certain way And it's so easy to feel that when I don't get as much as I put out that I don't deserve it, but Regardless of whether anyone else sees the value in me, I still believe that I'm beautiful and I can make my dreams a reality I had my cry and that was fine but now it's time to move on, that's your loss not mine Cuz all this love you could've had, I'm putting it back into the world And to make it more effective, I'm starting with me first I just wanna be, wanna be h-a-p-p-y with myself I just wanna be, wanna be h-a-p-p-y with myself I just wanna be satisfied when I look at myself in the mirror Wanna be h-a-p-p-y cuz I love the me that I see No more staying up late at night sad cuz I'm alone in my bed Cuz I got me and that's fine, it's better than fine It's great cuz I'm happy And one day I'm gonna be I'm just gonna be, gonna be h-a-p-p-y with myself I'm just gonna be, gonna be h-a-p-p-y with myself I'm just gonna be satisfied when I look at myself in the mirror Gonna be h-a-p-p-y cuz I love the me that I see No more staying up late at night sad cuz I'm alone in my bed Cuz I got me and that's fine, it's better than fine It's great cuz I'm happy, h-a-p-p-y